Five Steps to Self-Healing


The other day a friend of mine called me and asked me to help her by telling her what exactly did I do to heal myself. I started telling her one thing after the other, and then I realized that I cannot really say it in a few words, that it's a complete process, a life-style change, a mind shift.


The definition of healing is to become healthy, whole, or sound, to restore to health or free from ailment. We usually think we are healed only when we are ill, after being diagnosed a certain state, dis-ease, ailment, but are we aware that healing is a life-long process? Are we aware that we are and we should be healing every day? Are we aware that in every moment of our life we are in the process of healing?

So many life moments, experiences, events, meetings, people, we have come across, that passed us by since our childhood, believe it or not, each and every one has left some trace in our life. Each experience has left footprints on our life path, and made us follow blindly, unconsciously those same footprints in every similar situation we will come across later. We get determined by those situations and follow the pattern we can break free from. Then, we wonder why are certain situations repeating, why are we attracted to the same kind of people and same kind of energy. In such situations, we do have a few options, believe it or not. We can either continue following them blindly and unconditionally, or we can take control over our life and start making some decisions.

If we come across certain situations that repeat themselves constantly, there is only one thing we can do. We can ask ourselves why is it coming back to us, what is it that it is trying to teach us, show us, how is it benefiting us. Life is responding to us in every single moment. Our body is talking to us all the time. The only problem is that we are ignoring it! Many people say life is not easy, it is challenging, tough, unfair, but how about tuning in and figuring out what it has to say to us? How about changing a perspective? How about starting to believe that you and only YOU have the power to change your circumstances, your life for better or for worse. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in destiny, I do believe in God, Universe, Supreme Power or however one may call it, but how about taking responsibilities for our life and for what is happening to us, at least to a certain extent?

This would definitely mean take control over your thoughts, beliefs, actions, behavior, habits, etc. Especially your mindset.

What is a state of illness? What does it mean to be sick?

It means that our body is not in its perfect natural state, and we do know that we were created perfectly, just as everything in the nature is. So, if our body has fallen sick, it means that it has been putting up with a lot of situations that were not as natural to it as it should have been. It means that we were not aligned, the desires and the feelings were not aligned with our true self, therefore the energy could not flow freely, the dreams and actions were not heading the same direction, which created our perfect machine to stumble. When we are not aligned with our heart and our soul's desires, the energy is not flowing freely through our system, and it gets stuck in certain places in our body that are related to certain areas of our life (read more about chakras). This weakens our body, our immune system, our whole system, our body, mind and soul. Our body is trying to communicate this to us one way or the other, but often we ignore those signs, finding a million of excuses to justify our condition. It is always something else, it is never us. And that is where the catch is hidden! Remember, the Power is in YOU! :)

Whenever we face some kind of a challenge in form of an illness, we can always ask ourselves how happy are we really. Are we really in line with ourselves? Is there anything we wish for to be different? Is there anything that is making us sad, unhappy, miserable? Is there anything that we wish could be different, even though it may seem that it is not under our control and we cannot do anything about it? The reason why I am telling you this is because, even though the situation might be tough, it might seem it is not under your control, there is always a way out. There are always at least two options, two paths you can choose. Always. You always have a choice! Even if it means only to change the mindset and start looking at it from a different angle. That is already a huge change and a huge step forward. And that is also a key to your healing.

My weakest spot is my second, sacral chakra. All the accumulated emotions, my realisation as a woman, my creativity, everything is stored in this area. Abundant creativity and strongly felt intuition are two additional facets of an open sacral chakra. “I enjoy life fully” could be the sacral chakra’s motto, and in my case it wasn't really so, so I decided to make it my motto and live by it! An open, balanced sacral chakra allows you to love freely and fully, to be honest and non-judgmental about your desires, and to live as your authentic self without fear. When there is a blockage in the second chakra, it can cause both physical and emotional distress if not healed. Chakras are points in the body that moderate energy, allowing it to flow freely and maintain health and vitality. Unfortunately, the chakras can develop blockages that limit that energy flow. Chakra healing aims at restoring balance and freeing any blockage or kink in your energy body that prevents it from functioning optimally. Chakras can become either over- or underactive, each leading to slightly different symptoms.

An overactive sacral chakra can cause:

  • Emotional overreactions
  • Excessive emotional attachment to people or objects; excessive neediness in relationships
  • Codependency
  • Muscle tension and abdominal cramps

An energy deficiency in the second chakra can cause:

  • Fear of happiness or pleasure, self-sabotage
  • Lack of creativity and authenticity
  • Low libido
  • Pessimism, depression
  • Irregular menstrual cycle, urinary or bladder infections

I faced my first challenge in 2009 when I was going through my first emotional crisis in my marriage. Despite the fact that my marriage was perfect, we all go through our life transformations, we grow, we develop ourselves, we flourish, sometimes we die a little only to resurrect. That is life process. Especially life as a couple. Two souls, even when coming from the same parents and same environment, still have issues and challenges adjusting to each other, let alone two different souls who grew up in completely two different worlds.

So adjustment periods are essential and just as normal as any other moment in life. The only different thing is the approach. How do we approach those life moments. This is where the key to our happiness and health is hidden. You can either accept the situation or change yourself. No other healthy option. If we accept it, it doesn't mean to forget or allow yourself to be miserable. Accepting means being totally fine with whatever comes out of it. Accepting it as it is. Not trying to change the other person and influence their actions or words. Changing yourself means, changing the way you are looking at it, so that you can be fine with it and that you can be totally OK with it. This is when and how we can face all the situations without any threat of getting sick.

Now, the problem is that this is so simple in theory but much more challenging to implement it in real life. I remember my first course on my holistic path I took was autogenic training, where one lady told us why she was doing the course. Her mum who was always in panic and creating fuss about everything, after started working on herself and practicing autogenic training, became completely calm in situations where usually she would panic.

I was listening to this and wondering how this was impossible, at least for me. I imagined myself in a similar situation and how I would react (because I was very impulsive and would usually explode like a bomb), but after years of self development and self-work I also managed to achieve it. Of course, we learn while we live, we live while we learn which is why we are constantly tempted by numerous life lessons where we get tested over and over again whether we can finally pass that certain lesson and move onto the next level, or do we get to stay and revise and repeat until we pass it. As one of my friends said the other day, we play and struggle until we pass onto the next level in this game called Life.

So, my first challenge was my first emotional crisis, which I was not handling very well, as it resulted with an operation. That's when I realized that I could possibly influence my health if I take some actions. So I changed my life and tried to accept the situation in most of the cases. It was fine for seven years (despite the doctors' prediction that it will come back unless I take hormonal therapy, which I refused and decided to heal it naturally. But,  seven years later - again a test! But this test came to me, not while I was practicing my happy & healthy lifestyle but when I failed emotionally - again).

The funny thing is that I was very aware of it from the start - how I felt about it from the very beginning, but I just couldn't help myself. I just couldn't be bothered. Imagine, being aware of everything but simply I couldn't be bothered! I was aware that my emotional life had the most impact on my health. Nothing else can shake my world as my emotional state can. I was literally falling apart. Every cell of my body was in pain, I was feeling sick, on and off for about a year and a half to two years. I couldn't help myself. I didn't have the strength, the will or the energy to confront it or deal with it. And you know what? I actually loved it. This is another catch - we love our miserable state and we don't want to get rid of it! We grow together with it. How funny is that? We actually get used to it and cannot separate from it.

So, how to avoid all these catches and how can we really heal ourselves?

I would like to share with you how I healed myself. This does not exclude the help of doctors and medicine, please have this in mind. These are my recommendations how I changed my attitude, my mindset, my perception, my habits and then eventually  how I improved my life quality which then led to improvement of my health too. There has to be some progress in your health. There is no way that you take these steps and apply them truly and sincerely for a longer period of time (this is not a quick fix!) and not see any changes!

Mauritius, 2016

So here are my steps to self-healing:

  1. Be honest to yourself!Admit to yourself what the real problem is! If you are living in denial and convincing yourself how you have no problems, think twice. Go inside and feel whether you are truly happy. Be honest to yourself! If you cannot do this easily, switch off the music, TV, go to a quiet place, close your eyes and just breathe. Take a few moments and just be, don't think about anything, don't force yourself to find a solution or answer. Just sit still. Connect yourself to yourself and see what happens. If nothing happens the first day, keep doing it. Eventually the answers will come, when you least expect them, most probably :) The night before the visit to my doctor, I was on the plane reading a book about people who healed themselves through a holistic approach, and I was wondering how I have all the required knowledge. I took so many courses to be able to help others and myself and how I was not doing anything at all about it. Lazy, unmotivated, and without any will power, I was wondering will I need to get a sign from a doctor in order to start changing my life. That is exactly what happened the very next day. After crying my eyes out, I admitted to myself how unhappy I was and I looked at the situation from my heart, and was finally honest about it. I could choose: to feel miserable, unhappy and probably get even more ill or I could take the control of my life and finally do something about it ?! I needed to change my daily thoughts and habits and that was the perfect motivation to do so.
  2. Take action!After I admitted the truth to myself and became aware of the potential consequences, I made a plan of what I thought would be good for me. I decided to ask for help, as I needed some external obligation, someone to hold me accountable and persistent in my decision. I decided I was going to focus on improving my energy level, with holistic healing techniques, decide to move my butt and flush out the toxins, get my body moving, circulate the positive energy, burn all the negative accumulated debris, improve my eating habits and finally psychotherapy, as I believed that my unprocessed emotions were being stored in my second chakra.
  3. Ask for help!Once I confessed to myself, I then contacted each and every person who I thought would be able to help me. This is also where a health coach comes in. Health coach can guide you, help you see things clearly which you cannot see and lead you to a happier and healthier version of you. You need external empowerment, support and someone to understand you, not to judge you. And one important thing: Please, do not avoid doctors and medicine! These recommendatios are to improve your lifestyle and are complementary to medicine!
  4. Be persistent! Be patient!No matter what you decide, which technique or method, please be aware that no changes can happen over the night. Whatever condition you have, it did not develop itself over night, therefore please do not expect it to disappear so quickly either. We have put a lot of days, months, years, experiences into our current state of mind, so it cannot be changed immediately. Also, whichever technique you choose, please give it time. No miracles can happen so soon. Does medication react immediately? Not really. So, don't expect miracles here sooner than it could be possible.
  5. This is a life-style not a quick-fix!Be aware that this is not a quick fix, this is a life style change, so equally changes cannot happen over the night, because neither did your diseases develop over the night.

Once you become aware of this, then you can make an action plan. I divided my healing process into five groups:

  • Exercises Nothing much to say about this one! Move your butt and get the benefits from exercising (I struggle with this one the most :D). Exercise decreases the stress hormones such as cortisol and increases endorphins.  Endorphins are the body’s natural feel good chemicals, and when they are released through exercise, your mood is boosted naturally.  As well endorphins, exercise also releases adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine.  These chemicals work together to make you feel good.  What more do I have to say about this? :)


  • Self-love How do you love yourself? Do you love yourself? What is it that you do on a daily basis that shows self love? Think about it. This is a deep one. We all take it for granted, we all think we love ourselves just because it is self-understandable, but when we scratch the surface, we realize that we are far away from self love. I asked myself what is it that I loved doing and didn't have much time for it. I monitored what was it that made me happy, enthusiastic, that moved me, that made me feel good and alive, and then I prioritized it. What works for me might not work for you, which is why you need to ask yourself and listen to your body. I started meditating, sleeping, reading, writing, preparing raw food, spending time with my friends and avoiding my so-called-friends, or simply not doing anything. I made my daily ritual plan and I stick to it.Every day, every moment of my day I remind myself how important it is to make myself happy as that is where my health is!Be happy. Be healthy. The Power is in YOU! :)